 David Knox finds all the right ingredients in Lipstick Jungle – except soul.
“You are not a loser. You are an extraordinary person. You are funny, you are scary smart, and intense and gorgeous and larger than life and you deserve to be loved because of those things, not in spite of them.”
Make it so, Candace Bushnell.
Here we go again. In a predictable New York setting are three high-powered ladies dripping in fashion, big hair, affluence, girlpower and sex appeal. They’re split from the same atom as Sex and the City, Cashmere Mafia, Women’s Murder Club, Melrose Place, Models Inc, Dynasty, blah blah blah.
This time round, Brooke Shields is a movie studio executive; Kim Raver is a magazine editor; and Lindsay Price a fashion designer. Unsurprisingly, one is a working mother, another is partnered and the third is single. How will they ever juggle careers and personal lives? Seen it all before? I sure have.
Bushnell worked wonders with Sex and the City. Those girls said what women had long been thinking and Oprah couldn’t say. They were brash, sexual, and most importantly, they weren’t perfect. Being flawed characters gave them depth. This is not to say the same won’t evolve across Bushnell’s new project, but it isn’t particularly apparent yet.
Still, pilots are tricky beasts and this one needed four writers. I couldn’t detect Bushnell’s voice anywhere amid the champagne flutes, designer dresses, photo flashes, fake furs, limousines, dinner dates, luscious skylines, sexy music, and romantic trysts. As if produced to a napkin checklist, this is a show where aspiration rules, sans any point of difference.
It also lacks a few other emotions, like humour and humility. Sex and the City always bestowed a bittersweet learning curve upon Carrie Bradshaw. Ugly Betty revels in its camp Cinderella fairytale. Melrose dipped itself into high melodrama with outlandish plots.
In fairness, the show already has a longer life than Cashmere Mafia, winning a second series from NBC. There’s a bit of eye candy when Kim Raver meets hot blonde guy ‘Kirby’ in a bar (a clone of ‘Smith’ from Sex and the City), and Julian Sands has a minor role.
So far, Lipstick Jungle feels like the emperor’s new clothes. Time will tell if it really is all just window dressing or not. For now, I’m putting my credit card away. I don’t think I earn a high enough salary to watch this show.
Lipstick Jungle premieres 9:30pm Sunday June 29 on Seven.
TV Guide
FRIDAY 20
[SBS/11:00pm] Movie: A Soap (Denmark 2005). This story of a troubled, pre-op transgender prostitute attracted to her neighbour, a surly beauty-shop owner, is lifted by the performances of its leads. They fight relentlessly, resisting their chemistry with torrid scenes that render this as Dogma meets soap opera.
SUNDAY 22
[TEN/7:30pm] Big Brother. Is it just me or does this year’s voice of BB sound like he’s a bit of a dish? Probing those housemates with his purring voice, sensitive and perceptive, always there for a bit of TLC. Call me, call me now... On a more serious note, if anybody cares, I’m tipping Travis or Ben to take this year out.
[Seven/7:30pm] Battle of the Choirs. As if Gladiators wasn’t camp enough! Some exhilarating moments smothered by cheese. It’s Eurovision in Epping, people.
[Seven/8:30pm] Grey’s Anatomy. Final. I should have known we’d have a kiss-off season closer from these doctors perpetually in love, but there’s a lesbian smooch between Callie and Erica that might make things interesting in season five. Otherwise the to-ing and fro-ing between Derek and Meredith has me zoning out.
MONDAY 23
[Seven/9:30pm] Boston Legal. A constipated Denny Crane sits in a men’s room stall, pushing his brief case to the door, straddling his feet to the side and humming. Before he knows it he’s arrested for soliciting gay sex. Denny Crane! Yet again, Alan (James Spader) lands another anti-homophobia speech for the defence that should be rolled in gold.
TUESDAY 24
[TEN/7:30pm] The All New Simpsons. Check the hilarious scene when, as a guest on the ‘Opal’ chat show, Marge asks the Big O about her long-term boyfriend. “When is Straightman going to pop the question?” Cue embarrassed host.
[Seven/8:30pm] All Saints. Charlotte, who has technically been sexual with both males and females, is in the middle of a series arc that sees her accused of sexual harassment by a female nurse. We watch with interest how this unfolds....
[ABC/10:00pm] Jennifer Byrne Presents. Christos Tsiolkas (Loaded, Dead Europe) is one of four guests discussing romance and sex in novels.He makes an interesting point that a modern, male equivalent of Lolita would never get passed today’s publishers.The panel seems agreed that Pride and Prejudice is the ultimate romantic novel.
THURSDAY 26
[ABC/8:00pm] Catalyst. Hip young English doctor and anatomist Dr Alice Roberts takes a closer look at the male sexual organs (literally?) to find out exactly what people know about them. 30-something Mark submits to a nationally-broadcast test of his sperm count.
[TEN/8:30pm] Medium. Final. The plot is a bit convoluted and it’s not the sharpest cliffhanger they’ve ever pitched, but what’s not to love about watching the work of Patricia Arquette and Jake Weber? Week in, week out one of the best couples on the box.
[Arena/8:30pm] Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Kathy hosting the Gay Adult Video Awards? What will she make of such categories as Best Oral Scene, Best Tease Performance, Best Threeway, Best Newcomer and Best Packaging? Just do as I did and YouTube it.
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