Like many Australians, I’ve come to realise that you don’t have to know diddly-squat about horse power, or how a Lamborghini compares to an Aston Martin, to enjoy Top Gear.
Now in its tenth season, this show works for three reasons: casting, production values, and storytelling.
With his up-front ‘publish and be damned’ commentary, Jeremy Clarkson is an absolute natural. The guy could read a shopping list and make it entertaining. He never shies away from getting excited about the latest model, or lambasting everything from poor design to European politics. He’s like the bloke next door that somehow ended up on the telly preaching to his own.
Clarkson is also a born storyteller, introducing potentially complex motoring issues with his layman’s narration, and ramping up all the necessary drama. He has a boisterous rapport with Richard ‘The Hamster’ Hammond that is a producer’s dream. You get the impression they goad one another just as much off camera as on. Nobody is polite; a habit which has got them into hot water.
Clarkson once described a car as ‘a bit gay’ and another as ‘very ginger beer’ (rhyming slang for ‘queer’). When Hammond returned from his famous car crash, Clarkson also asked him if he was ‘a mental’. And in the first episode of this new season, the third teamster, James May, calls a car ‘limp-wristed’. Should I feel more offended than I do?
Top Gear is so cinematic in its photography that it would make anybody upgrade to a plasma screen. Country drives burst to life via dramatic filters and lenses. Wet roads look sexy. They also use helicopter shots and emotive music. And damn if they don’t dream up the most eye-popping stunts. How will we ever come up with a local version, and frankly, do we have a big enough car industry to survive such open criticism anyway?
In this first new episode, the three hosts take luridly bright sports cars across Europe’s Alps, slamming the pedal to the metal like naughty boys. Naturally, the trip is dogged by mechanical breakdown, tacky hotels, and endless bickering. But as a travelogue it’s dynamic stuff.
Helen Mirren appears as ‘the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car’ and Jennifer Saunders, Simon Cowell, David Tennant and James Blunt will follow this season.
Top Gear is top fun.
Top Gear returns 7:30pm Monday on SBS.
TV Guide
FRIDAY 30
[ABC2/8:30pm] Moving Wallpaper. Premiere. ITV’s wicked satire of soap-writing is too much fun. Frantic scriptwriters, bastard producers, vain stars – and all for a bit of froth. Echo Beach with Jason Donovan follows, but is suitably vapid.
[SBS/12:30am Sat] Movie: Unveiled (Germany 2005). The German title of this film, Fremde Haut, means ‘to orbit’, a UN term for asylum-seekers. Here, a gay Iranian woman flees her country and ends up in an airport detention centre in Germany. When a detainee suicides, she takes on his identity.
SATURDAY 31
[SBS/8:30pm] Big Love. Check this amusing explanation about the convoluted lineage of plural families from a senior wife to a young girl. “I’m 32 of 56 children, and when I married Roman I became my own step-grandma, because my father married Roman’s daughter. Would you care for a biscuit?”
[MAX/12:00pm] Kylie Weekend. It’s four hours of complete Kylie (that’s one hour for every decade, kids) today and tomorrow, including the Fever documentary, plus the Homecoming and Showgirl concerts.
SUNDAY 1
[ABC/8:30pm] Emma. Kate Beckinsale leads an impressive cast in this adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel. It’s written by Andrew Davies, screenwriter of Tipping The Velvet, Bleak House and Bridget Jones’ Diary.Watch for Fawlty Towers’ Prunella Scales as the talkative Miss Bates.
[TEN/9:00pm] ROVE. Were Chas and Rove trying to out-gay Eurovision with that kiss last week, or what? None of us were watching anyway. Maybe now he should put this line to bed. I like McManus but this running gag perpetuates the misconception about ‘turning’ gay. Who would you turn Rove for?
[MovieExtra/9:30pm] The L Word. A sad (and slightly 24-style) episode as the show kills off one of one its ensemble cast members. If you’ve been reading this column lately, you’ll figure out who.
[SBS/11:10pm] Heroes For Six Minutes: White-Collar Boxing. The first rule of Fight Club is don’t talk about Fight Club, but these six British contenders aren’t shy as they prepare for three, two-minute rounds of hell. They include Britain's first openly gay boxer, an architect and a classical pianist.
TUESDAY 3
[Seven/7:30pm] Australia’s Got Talent. That hunky woodchopper is back to vex Ms Dannii Minogue with his biceps, flirting, and dashing smile. There are scripted dramas that don’t have this much unresolved sexual tension. Get wood.
WEDNESDAY 4
[Seven/7:30pm] Ugly Betty. Marc agrees to date a rather nerdy photographer, but then stands him up for a model. He cops a right serve as to where his ethics are (in his pants, obviously). Betty sets up a chatroom date, telling some guy she loves ‘blowing’ instead of bowling. And yowza, check out the engine underneath Henry’s hood. Also tonight, Mandy Patinkin bows out of Criminal Minds.
[TEN/8:30pm] HOUSE. Final. This two-part season closer is a ripper. House finds four hours missing from his life. All he can remember is that somebody’s life is in danger. But who? Chase (Jesse Spencer) puts him under hypnosis, a craft he learned “in Melbourne”! Fantastical storytelling that will mess with your mind.
THURSDAY 5
[TEN/8:30pm] Law and Order SVU. A dead gay guy, pro footballers in the closet, kids in shelter, queeny celebrity managers, bondage, and roles by Bill Pullman and Beverley d’Angelo. Nothin’ gonna save this one.
[Seven/9:30pm] Lost. Final. Seven has totally stuffed the scheduling of this flagship drama this year, which at only 16 episodes long, has been much stronger than last year. Loyal fans know this double dose will blow. Unpreviewed.
www.tvtonight.com.au
 |
Arts & Entertainment 
Subscribe to this comment's feed