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NICE ARSE!
Working in the gay press I see a lot of arse. I see some penis but mainly it’s arse galore. There are posters featuring men’s arses, emails laden with men’s arses, and books celebrating men’s arses. Then of course there are the publications themselves, which can be one great arse fest. In a single day I would see more male arse than most gay men see in a month, and because of this I think I’m quite adept at judging a good male behind. The same cannot be said for my gay colleagues. In fact I’ll go out on a limb here and say that the same cannot be said for most gay men. Over the years I’ve noticed a real lack of arse discernment among the poofs I have known, and these guys have been as varied as the arses they think are hot. I have been walking down the street with a gay male when at some point he will point at an unsuspecting passerby and say “nice arse” to which I will ask “where?”, because surely he couldn’t mean that sorry excuse for a gluteus maximus he is pointing at, but he does. That arse could be a shapeless sack of flesh and the gay man thinks “now that’s hot”. That arse could resemble Uluru and the homosexual male’s response is “wow, nice”. That arse could be actually inverted and a gay man will still say, “cute bum”. They don’t care about size or form: if it’s on the back of a man then it has to be good. This lack of quality control is also found in the straight man, however his domain is not the arse, it is the breast. To the heterosexual male every breast is cause for celebration. Straight men are far too liberal with the phrase ‘nice tits’. As a lesbian who has seen probably as many breasts as I’ve seen gay men’s arses, I can tell you that all breasts are not created equal. This is the difference between lesbians and gay men. While our brothers’ heads are turned by any bottom that enters their visual sphere, the lesbian is breast discerning; sometimes brutally so. This same shrewdness can be found in the straight woman. To the straight girl, the only thing worse than a hairy back is the man who sports a ‘lady bum’. I have known women who will pass on possibly the most wonderful man she will ever meet simply because his feminine side is in his arse. Put that same arse in front of a gay man and he will give it a standing ovation. While I don’t understand it, I think this trait of acceptance is the most endearing feature of my gay pals. And it’s not just about arses. Gay men are also much more accepting of physical imperfections. I know this contradicts the popular perception that gay men are shallow, gym obsessed philistines, but again, in my experience, gay men can overlook the fact that their boyfriend has legs that would be better suited on a 12-year-old girl because he has footballer arms. They seem to focus on the positive, and isn’t that something to aspire to? I, for one, am going to embrace the male belief that all breasts and arses are perfect, starting by accepting my own, which I can assure you will be no small feat.
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Opinion 
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