I’d never seen a game of football in my life. What was I doing joining a touch football team?

Having just arrived in Melbourne, I’d decided to do something completely out of my comfort zone in an effort to be social. During the first game I fumbled, I fell, and I dropped the ball a dozen times. Now, 18 months later, I’m still dropping the ball, but having a great time doing it.

At SthPOOFTA, the game is kept casual, and always dished up with a good serving of banter. There’s almost as much laughing as sweating, and more arse-slapping than a night at Club 80. The players themselves are from a broad range of backgrounds: there are twinks, daddies, subs, doms, muscles and chubs galore. And for those not competitively inclined, the good news is they don’t even keep score!

“What I get out of it? Nothing, really. Oh, you mean non-sexually? Playing touch footy is a great way to keep fit, meet new people and have a good laugh regardless of skill,” says SthPOOFTA player Adrian Harris.

David Craig, another player said: “Playing as part of a team is important for self-esteem; that and men in shorts work for me!”

So grab your sneakers, hike up your shorts and head to Albert Park - and don’t be afraid to touch!

For more information about SthPOOFTA, call Paul 0424 947 992 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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