IMAGE: Pete Burns with now ex-husband Michael Simpson on their wedding day last year.
We are a product of the times.
In this day and age of 24/7 consumerism and materialism, round-the-clock communication and constant access, we’ve become a society too used to knowing that what we want, and when we want it, is usually but a mouse-click away. Instant gratification delivered straight to the door.
And this modern day affliction seems to have manifested itself in surprising ways.
Pete Burns recently claimed that ‘gay relationships are a commercial break, not a whole movie’. The bisexual, cross-dressing Dead or Alive singer observed that, when it comes to gay men and their capacity to have any form of long-lasting and meaningful relationships, we have a lot to live up to.
“The relationships I'm aware of ... it’s as though there’s some kind of emotional inadequacy or narcissism, where they feel emotionally inadequate and need more validation,” he told UK newspaper The Mail on Sunday.
Burns definitely has reasons to be resentful, having split with his husband of 10 months due to the latter’s infidelity. But forget for a moment that these bitter words are coming from a man scorned. Is he right? Are gay men simply too emotionally-stunted, too self-serving to be capable of being faithful and exclusive? Is the sexual liberty that we enjoy dooming that very thing that we so desperately want?
There seems to be a generally-held cynicism within the community at large when it comes to the integrity and durability of gay relationships. The old joke that for every year of a gay relationship equals seven straight years is one that gets plenty of mileage.
Why is it that some gay men out there hoping for an Affair To Remember are getting a Sean Cody snippet instead? Do we all have a debilitating attention span that’s shorter than a New York minute?
I only have to look at my friend and his partner to think otherwise.
“The reason why most relationships don’t work – gay or straight – is because the people involved in it don’t want to make it work,” Scotti explained. “If we gays, no, correction – if we men tried keeping our dicks in our pants and only getting it out for our partners, relationships might just work.”
Scotti and Trevor should know. Meeting in their teens, the two have been together for close to ten years. Both have been through plenty; what began as an adolescent romance has developed into something mature and nurturing that’s still going strong.
“Ours may be an exceptional relationship, but it isn’t rare,” Trevor continues, “and it still needs the same things now that it did before: trust and respect – and plenty of patience.”
So sure, there may be the bit-part players out there who are playing only short roles in the relationship show reel, but there are also the enduring stars, like Scotti and Trevor, who are proving that gay relationships can last longer than a flick of Titanic proportions.
After all, it’s not the length of the movie that ultimately dictates its success; it’s in the strength of the characters and the parts that they play.
Ryan Perdio ponders the quick-fix relationship.
