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S.M. King sinks back on the chaise lounge and enjoys the view.
 It’s not hard to get a drink in Melbourne. Over the past decade a surfeit of bars has popped up across the city and suburbs. And they’re shelling out booze to a clientele content to perch on upturned milk crates.
Some bars are little more than converted shop front venues kitted out in furnishings scrounged from the kerbside on Hard Waste collection day; a curious mixture of oddments that offer a share house ambience unworthy of a bucket bong, let alone a decent cocktail.
Drinks can also be had in the company of live performance, dance music and A/V installations. These certainly can add up to a fun night out. But the sticky carpet, deafening music and disorienting lightshows aren’t a great environment for settling back in a comfy chair with a cognac and having a civilized chat. For that experience, there’s a clutch of bars where the décor is divine.
So divine you must order a classic martini simply to avoid clashing with the curtains.
North of the city, Polly offers an astounding selection of cocktails made from top-shelf drops. The dimly lit plush red interior is as opulent and inviting as their ‘Light My Fire’ libation. Comprising Woodford Reserve Bourbon Whiskey, Vanilla Madagascar and Grand Marnier, this luxe liquor is served warm with a flamed orange in a large balloon.
Manchuria is like a Qing Dynasty opium den reserved strictly for the Emperor and his concubines. This l ounge bar is a veritable Forbidden City of private booths, ensuring intimate conversation as one sips on a notable single malt. Another stellar cocktail selection complements the long list of fine whiskies. The Chinatown location is ideal, both aesthetically and gastronomically; and the snack menu includes Peking Duck from nearby Crystal Jade restaurant.
Also in the city, Toff in Town’s upholstered walls lead guests to private booths reminiscent of grand train carriages. Close the door, pull the blinds, and for a while you can pretend you’re on the Orient Express from Paris to Istanbul. The wine list reads longer than Ulysses, so settle back and enjoy the journey.
For utter opulence, few venues could out-do Baroq House. Here, 17th century grandeur sprawls over two levels. Candelabras, pressed metal ceilings and hand-blown Venetian chandeliers are there to please your inner Marquis. There’s a glass mosaic tiled dance floor in the basement and, mon cher, private rooms with card access that may be secured for total privacy. What happens in the 17th century stays in the 17th century.
Considered interior design adds mystique and splendour not only to a venue, but to the quality of your drink. When the music is low, the furnishings are comfortable and the crowd isn’t elbow-to-elbow knocking back beer, genuine conversation can be had.
As noted cocktail lover William Blake (sort of) said: excess and top shelf-grog leads to the palace of wisdom.
Polly, 401 Brunswick St. Fitzroy, Ph: 9417 0880
Baroq House, 9-13 Drewery Lane, Melbourne, Ph: 8080 5680
Manchuria Level 1, 7-9 Waratah Place, Melbourne Ph: 9663 1997
Toff In Town 252 Swanston Street, Melbourne Ph: 9639 8770
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