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Bourbon isn’t a bad drink, just misunderstood, says S.M. King.
Bourbon has all the class and allure of a Stag Night in deepest
Frankston; one that ends in (a) gutter heaving, (b) shaving one eyebrow
off the unconscious groom, or (c) all the above.
Bourbon is advertised on the silicon-plumped chests of underpaid
hussies, mixed with (ugh) cola and consumed in vast quantities by Year
11 brats. I know this because, well, everybody knows this; and because
I happen to be a devout fan of the good stuff, and unkind bastards keep
hurling these stereotypes at me.
“Hey, SM! Would you like a Nickelback CD and a mullet with your bourbon?”
No. I would not. I’d like a cigar and conversation, thanks.
If you’re a connoisseur of hard liquor, you might have noticed the
recent local makeover of this wonderful drop. A few smart bars such as
St Kilda’s Prince of Wales and Fitzroy’s Copacabana have started
serving one of my favourite tipples, Woodford Reserve.
Woodford is a great introduction to sour mash whisky. The official drug
of the Kentucky Derby, it’s made in a distillery now protected as a
landmark.
Expect all the complexity you might find in a single malt scotch. Sip
it slowly with nothing more than an ice cube or a little water and
expect to savour ginger, marzipan and oak flavours. Expect to pay about
sixty bucks a bottle. Expect to clear all your appointments the
next day.
This stuff packs an elegant punch.
Inch down the price gradient and find the popular Maker’s Mark. It’s
smoky, it’s light on rye (which I prefer) and has a little stewed
fruit. You can pick it up for around forty bucks and, honestly, it
requires no mixer of any kind. Please don’t mix good bourbon!
Like many distilleries of the Kentucky Whisky Trail, Maker’s Mark boasts a great little down-home story.
Back in the mid twentieth century, Bill Samuels Senior decided to
revise a family recipe close to two centuries old. He set about making
many loaves of bread that contained classic bourbon grains in various
combinations. When his family and staff voted for their favourite loaf,
he noted the recipe. The blend is used to make the sour mash to this
day.
Bourbon, of course, is made from grain. By law, it must contain at
least 51% corn. Typically, as you can probably deduce from its
sweetness, the quotient usually hovers at around 70%. The
remainder is a mix of barley and wheat and/or rye. Additionally, it
must be made in the USA to earn the name “bourbon whisky”.
Although there is no appellation law demanding it be distilled in
Kentucky, this is from whence the good stuff flows.
There’s a bit of stuff made in Illinois. But, honestly, don’t bother.
However, if you have more money and luxe-lust than sense, you may
consider a Pennsylvanian blend called A H Hirsch Reserve. There are
less than 400 extant cases of this elixir and each will cost you about
the same as a racehorse.
Perhaps you could ask the unconscious bridegroom for a donation.
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